Forgiveness

I don't know what everyone else feels about forgiveness, and I don't know why they feel that way. But for me, I feel so happy with myself when I forgive.

It's so easy to say that you always forgive, it's harder to do it. Forgive and Forget. That's the best thing to do. Don't forget what the situation taught you, but don't bring it into everything you do. Leave it alone. Forgive, and be done with it.

Because of the fact that I say I always forgive I want to get a few things off my chest, so I can be real. I need to be truthful in what I believe, because I expect all of you to be real in what you believe. So here it goes.

John.
I forgive you for taking my sister. I forgive you for what you did to her, and the hurt you caused not only her, but our whole family. I forgive you for making me grow up so fast. I forgive you.

Mom.
I forgive you for being so unhappy when I was younger. I forgive you for thinking I was just a child. I forgive for not telling me what I needed to know. I forgive you for being so dramatic. I forgive you for being angry. I forgive you for smoking. I forgive you for lying about it. I forgive you.

Dad.
I forgive you for not being around. I forgive you for not understanding. I forgive you for yelling. I forgive you for telling me my opinion didn't matter. I forgive you.

Caitlin.
I forgive you for not being there for me when I was younger. I forgive you for using me. I forgive you for hurting me. I forgive you.


In my opinion these are the most important things in my life that need to be forgiven. But not only forgiven, It's time for me to let go. Moving on with my life and starting over requires me to forget that these people hurt me, and remember that they taught me also.

To not forgive John would be selfish of me. In a way he gave me my best friend. He taught me how short life can be, and how unfulfilled it can become. He taught me that the world is full of bad people. But my sister, she taught me that people can change, and that they do it every day. I continue to learn from what these two taught me. The hatred in my soul for John has gone. I'm at peace with that.

I forgive my parents for divorcing, and I forgive them for getting back together. I forgive them for not understanding my feelings toward things. I forgive them for not having open minds about the world and the things in it. I forgive them for not respecting what others believe when it isn't what they believe.
They, of course, teach me something everyday, even if they don't know it. I'm am having to realize that they change just like me, with the things they endure. I know that they aren't perfect, and i shouldn't expect them to be. I love them both, no matter what I say.

In my heart I know that the most important person to forgive is myself. I've been through some really hard things, and I've done things in my life that maybe I'm not proud of. By forgiving myself I allow myself to live with no regret. I regret nothing because it was all just a learning experience. There is no doubt in my mind that if I didn't forgive myself and the people around me that I would be full of regret. What matters to me is that I forgive. Whether or not you forgive me is your choice. If I have apologized then my heart is happy. That's the end of that.


If you've read this, and you feel I've hurt you ever in anyway please tell me. It's important that those who deserve forgiveness get it. And we all deserve it. All of us.